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................what just happened.


Okay. First things first. Before I go into asking this, it is important that you all know right now that I AM NOT A PERVERT. I'm just helping out a friend. Yes. That's all.

That said, does anyone happen to have a bunnygirl outfit? You know. Ears and tail and all that stuff. Someone with weird kinks has to be around here somewhere. Haruhi couldn't possibly have been one in a million. ...wait. I take that back.


Okay. Frankly, I am now an ordinary, very confused young man with no idea how the world operates anymore. Well, not that I distinctly knew before, but it makes even less sense now is what I was trying to get at. This has got to be--...ah, what was it called again? Iri, ira, iro--! IRONY. It has to turn out that right when Asahina-san joins us here, Haruhi has to go off and disappear again. Though, she might have just gotten bored and returned somehow... Once again, Koizumi better be watching and taking care of her carefully.

...speaking of which. Where is Asahina-san? ... This is bad. I lost her already after only contacting her once and I was an idiot enough not to ask where she was so I could find her. Oh god. What if she runs into some of the shady people that live around here and end up being exploited because of her cuteness? And...was she still in Haruhi's bunny suit?

Not good. So not good.



Dear God That is Not Haruhi,

Where have all the sane people gone? It's been a nice run with this never-ending joke/dream/nightmare thing you've got going on for me, but I'd like to request a notice to wake up now. Yes. That would be very nice.

No more videos of Asahina-san blowing up planets, plzkthnx.

Exasperatingly Yours,


Why I'm calling myself that is a mystery now. Must be Haruhi's influence and all. ...oh god. I'm under Haruhi's influence.


I give up.

Haruhi, where are you at?

[Screened From Haruhi]

What exactly do girls expect on dates anyway? Do I have to get flowers and candy and all that generic supermarket rip-off sort of thing?

Wait. Nevermind. Scratch that. I refuse to accept this as a date. It's perfectly normal for a guy to ask a girl out--side for a public outing as a normal, very normal, thing between friends. Regardless of how cute I might think she looks with a ponytail. ...you never read this part.


By chance is there a psychiatrist around? Or like, a therapist or something? i think I need mental help finding my sanity dealing with this stuff.



She actually came back. Not really sure what to make of it. I mean, it's not like I didn't want Haruhi to come back--I did; had to go embarrass myself about it too--it's just...pretty weird. Problem is, if she disappeared from here and never made it back home, what's the possibility that happened to the other people who disappeared from here too? Ugh. This place gives me a headache. It's ridiculous.

[Screened from Haruhi]

Also, what's up with this "I'm an anime character" stuff? Last time I checked I was a real person who actually didn't even like anime that much, though I guess with all the weird stuff that happens with the Brigade, my life very well could be made into an anime.

Yeah. God hates me. So much. Damn it.


What is this madness? A short leave of absence and I get to come back to people dying, porn over-flooding the streets, and some mysterious doom fruit that's apparently bent on the destruction of the world. Haruhi would be having the time of her life here.


It's been so long since I've seen her, I almost wouldn't mind having her drag me around by the tie--which really hurts, actually; damn it, did that hurt--to run off to interview supposed aliens or vampires or poorly attempting to solve "mysteries" or just...having another pointless S.O.S. Brigade meeting.

Well. If she's out of here, at least she's out of danger. ...or rather, everyone else here is out of danger. Koizumi better be looking after her at home.


Y'know. Really. The longer I'm here, the more I dislike this place. It's gone beyond weird, which is really saying a lot since I'm considering it past SOS Brigade weird, and their weirdness excluding Haruhi, really, who's on a whole different level of weird is very, very high. Scientific experiments, phantom diseases, deaths induced by said scientific experiments, and all those other random things are really not turning out to be my thing. It's things like this that makes me occasionally miss my boring life.

...Haruhi'd probably love this. There's enough conspiracies going around to fill up dramas, soap operas, and several episodes of that random American show X-something about aliens and whatnot.

Speaking of Haruhi, I haven't heard from her in a while. I might be worried. I'm worried. This is a strange, strange world, and she is a strange, strange girl. Probably not a good combination. I almost wish someone else was here to help keep an eye on her. Where are people when you really need them anyway?

Also, Professor, if you're out there somewhere, let me know if there's anything I can do for you. As much strange things I've seen, I can't say human experimentation sounds like any bit of fun.


...Okay. So. Apparently, there's a mother-complex-inducing plague going around this place that's making everyone want to go to a reunion (ten year high school reunion?) of some sort. Huh. Sounds like a bad midday television drama that got kicked off the air for poor ratings. So what is this epidemic anyway? Bubonic plague? Err, with less dying and stuff though. ... Unless people are dying and I'm unaware of it. ...whut.

Anyway. Haruhi, wherever you are, I hope you're not causing trouble safe and, uh, not ill with whatever this thing going around is.

Can't someone wish up a magical doctor with super-healing abilities to fix this all up or something? I mean. Unless there's one already here...who's not doing anything.


Dear God:

I would like to go home now. This is worse than being in those closed spaces with Itsuki. Kthnxbai.

Your Neglected Servant,

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